Children of all ages benefit greatly from being confident in their speech.
Often, children who are considered “shy” or “quiet” just have not yet been taught the skills needed to be self-assured when speaking. Speaking confidently is a skill that is not developed on its own, it must be taught. There are ways we can help our children develop confidence in their speech no matter what their age; from the time our children are toddlers, we can give them the tools they need to speak confidently around others.
Early Talkers (ages 2-3)
We want our young children to learn the power that comes with speaking up and using their words early. By learning how and when to use their voice, children develop confidence and empowerment. Here are ways to teach your young children how to use their voices and speak confidently.
1. Give your toddler choices …
When used effectively, the concept of giving your child choices teaches them that their opinion is important and that they can be an active part of decision making. The important thing when giving such young children choices is to limit the options. Instead of an open-ended question such as, “What do you want for lunch?”, limit the choices by asking, ” Would you like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or chicken nuggets?”
This is a great start to have your child feel good about voicing their feelings. Also, teach them how to answer the question. Instead of simply saying “chicken nuggets”, they should instead say, “I would like chicken nuggets, please.” Feeling the power of making a decision, and knowing how to voice the decision, teaches the early talker how important their opinion is.
2. Practice answering simple questions …
There are some questions that people will ask your toddler again and again. Questions such as, “What is your name?” “How old are you?” “When is your birthday?”. Common questions such as these can be practiced with your toddler so they know how to confidently answer. Bath time, car rides, and meal time can be great times to have these practice conversations with your early talker.
3. Join in pretend play …
Children love imitating what they see. Most toddlers start playing pretend at around 18-24 months of age. This might be putting on Dad’s hat or trying to put their feet in Mom’s shoes. They may pretend to drink out of a toy cup or pretend to sweep with a toy-sized broom. When we join in the imaginary play with them, we are encouraging them to use their words while playing. Simple questions such as “Where are you going to sweep?”, or “Yum, are you drinking juice?” will cause our children to practice using words, phrases, and even sentences to answer us.
Preschool Age (ages 3-5)
When children reach preschool age, the skill of confidently using their voice gets increasingly important. Children are thrown into a world where they are not with parents for quite a few hours of the day; because of this, it is important that they are able to communicate their needs and wants with teachers and other trusted adults, as well as learn to communicate socially with other children.
1. Teach eye contact …
Eye contact is a very important non-verbal communication. When you look someone in the eyes while talking to them, you display confidence and assertiveness. When holding conversations with your preschool age child, encourage them to look at you while you talk and hold the gaze while they respond. Once they get used to holding eye contact with you, teach them to look at other adults in their life such as family members and teachers while in conversation.
Looking at someone while you are speaking to them is a skill that many adults struggle with. If we can instill this confidence and strength in our children at preschool age, it will become a habit that will carry them through many situations with strength.
2.Ask open ended questions …
When a child answers an open-ended question, they are practicing their ability to confidently use words. In order to interact confidently with others, they must first practice these interactions at home. “What game should we play?”, “What happened at school today?”, or “What shoes would you like to wear to the park?” are all great examples of open-ended, thought-provoking questions.
Questions that are only answered with yes or no should be limited as a way to help our children gain confidence expressing themselves.
3. Order in a restaurant …
At a restaurant, young children 3-5 years old are the perfect age to start ordering their own food and drink. Children should be given a choice between 2-3 meals and 2-3 drinks. Once they made their decision, practice with them what to say when it is time to order.
“I would like a turkey sandwich and milk.” This type of sentence is the perfect length for your child to memorize and feel confident saying. Remind your child to speak loudly enough to be heard and to keep eye contact with the waiter or waitress.
4. Enroll child in extracurricular activities…
There are many benefits to enrolling young children in extracurricular activities. One benefit is socialization. Your child has the opportunity to interact with children who are outside of their daily routine. Gymnastics, swimming, or dance classes, for example, are usually held in small group settings with low teacher/student ratios.
Active play also lays the foundation for confidence in body movements. When children understand and feel comfortable with their body, they feel more secure at the playground or on a play date. This confidence, in turn, causes children to be more social and confidently speak to and play with peers.
Once your child starts to become more comfortable and confident using their voice, here are some fun activities which will help broaden their vocabulary. It is always a great idea to use excitement and games to reinforce a skill you are encouraging. These activities will give children examples of words they may not have been introduced to. Feel free to discuss the words and practice using them in sentences!
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